1-page decision sheet

The Before You Sit Decision Sheet

Use this before you commit money, consent, or vulnerability to a guide, ceremony, retreat, or medicine space. Print it, save it, or send it to the person who needs a steadier lens than the branding is giving them.

5 gut-check questions

Do I feel rushed to trust before I am ready?
Is my body already bracing while my mind tries to explain it away?
Do I know what happens if someone destabilizes?
Can I ask hard questions without being subtly shamed?
Am I more impressed by the branding than clear on the safety?

7 red flags

No clear destabilization plan
Hard questions feel unwelcome
The room protects the leader more than the participant
Pressure to surrender discernment early
Guide behaves beyond accountability
No distinction between support and escalation
Intensity is glamorized, containment is vague

5 must-ask questions

What happens if someone becomes impossible to settle?
Who decides when something becomes a medical issue?
What is your screening process?
What would make you tell someone not to sit?
Who is responsible for aftercare if something big opens?

Decision frame

Green light: I can name why I trust this space.
Yellow light: I still need answers before I commit.
Red light: Something in me already knows this is not right, and I am trying to negotiate with it.

Do not confuse excitement, projection, or beautiful branding with a real yes.

Open the full guide